On the Road Again.......

On the Road again........ I just can't wait to get on the road again......... Kidding! You all know the song but getting on the road here is like a death wish! today's episode you ask? Here is a vision for you......There are some crazy drivers here in Hungary. Let me take you on the freeway with us- ..... N and Z were in the back with me and Andy was in the front with our coordinator (he drew the short straw!) I felt a sharp jerk to the right and then the left. We swerved to the left lane and then back to the right. I heard this funny noise and turned around. It was like a deer in the headlights because about 3 inches from the back of our car was a HUGE 18 wheeler blowing his horn. Our coordinator calmly said "is he honking his horn, he should just go around." LOL. Andy gave me a look and whispered, "When we stop, you are getting in the front. I'm all done." It was a funny moment. Today we said goodbye to the Foster Family. It was an awkward several hours.... We had lunch and the kids played in the backyard where they spent their time while they were here. I can't explain how it feels to be in a room where everyone is having conversations but you have no idea what they are saying including your children to be.... LOL We talked with the foster family for a bit about some of the behaviors they experienced with the children and they told us they would have adopted N but not Z. We were shocked that they so openly shared this and at the same time were sad for Z. Is it bad that we almost felt victorious because we would never have thought that way- ever. She is challenging but to ever consider separating these two would be heartbreaking indeed. Something unusual occurred while we were there- we both used the restroom and discovered that the toilet flushed forward... Hmmmm so everything that goes down has to be pushed forward. Not sure about that system but we both flushed twice to watch it not knowing that the other noticed it as well. Andy one upped me because he filmed it! Yes, we got video! It's the American way right? Why you ask? Because we can..... The kids jumped in the car when it was time to go without hesitation and waved goodbye. It was MUCH easier than I thought! As we were pulling away we saw the guy that cut through the yard at the Hungarian Barbecue! You know, the one that just appeared in one of our pictures without a shirt on with the glass eye? We were pretty sure he was a neighbor because the kids knew him! He was kinda like the Where's Waldo of Shoowd (I have no idea how to spell the town sorry!)..... As we pulled away he was at the fence waiving! I did not recognize him until Andy said, "Hey, there he is- but he's got a shirt on..." We all laughed and the kids said "Chokolow" out the window and we drove away. It was great! After we made it back to the train station, we decided we were NOT cooking because it was already 6:30 so we found a place to eat! Our coordinator was driving us so she showed us a few places to choose from near the station. We got the scenic tour through the other side of Budapest we had not seen. There were HUGE piles of debris piled on almost every corner and most of the stacks had these gangs of people or at lest one person sitting on top of the stack. It was one of those things we will probably never see again (and yes I photographed it!)..... In the city at home we have the LArge Appliance Pick up once a year where you can set out large appliances or furniture for trash pick up- well guess what? Budapest is no different. But like everything here in Hungary, there is a fun little twist! Usually if you set something out that is halfway decent on the curb, there is always someone who will zip by and take it away. After all, One man's Trash is Another Man's Treasure, right? Because most people use public transportation and there are no trucks here, the people walk the streets to claim their Treasure! You heard me right- it's like a Giant Squatter Festival- if you see something you like, you just hang out there until your posse comes to pick it up. These people were serious too- you were not coming near their stuff if they had it claimed! There were large groups of people who had these areas staked out and claimed. You would see people sitting on couches and on top of these trash heaps!!! They looked tough too- like you should not mess with them! We found the restaurant where we decided to eat and I took the kids inside while our coordinator showed Andy where we would meet tomorrow. As they were walking to the area, they came across a pile of kitchen goods. Andy who is longing for a kitchen with more than one skillet, a small sauce pan, 4 glasses, 4 mugs and 4 plates immediately was drawn to the pile. He said to our coordinator, "Hey these are some nice dishes!" They both began looking at them and this lady came darting at them from out of no where. Andy said he had his knife but even he was frightened, she was yelling and screaming something in Hungarian at them..... Our coordinator started laughing and told Andy they should go. Hahahaha- now wouldn't that be something if we came all this way and Andy came home with a battle wound from looking at someone's trash claim. It was another one of those interesting Hungarian moments.... and yes I got a photo! At the restaurant I discovered I've arrived at motherhood. Both kids had to go to the restroom. I had to go myself! It never dawned on me that my needs were NOT going to be met. I took N in with me and Z. It was taking Z a really long time when I heard a little voice say mom.... I could smell the aroma and I prayed to God she was not calling me for the ultimate motherhood duty I thought I escaped. My prayers were answered because she only needed me to open the door for air. Not only was she killing me and N with her business she was about to gas herself right out. . Meanwhile I got N washed up. He still has trouble with soap and water. It dawned on me as he was putting his head in a cabinet while we were waiting for Z that it was not happening for me. There was no way I could leave them alone. But I am a problem solver so I have already worked this one out. I am packing my sleeping mask from the plane in my backpack and when I have to go he is coming in the stall with me and I will put the mask on him. We just don't know each other that well yet- LOL. Besides, he will think the mask is fun. I know from experience that all you have to do is make it fun- right? That my friends is universal! While we were walking this morning, we passed a bar that was already opened with people drinking and gambling and it was not even 8:00. At first I thought wow- but as we walked I was reminded of a part of this journey that will never leave me. I know you should not judge people but let's face it- sometimes it just comes naturally when we don't understand something that is so foreign from the way we think as individuals. REmember when I said this journey has changed me in so many ways? Well it has...... I found myself thinking of the time when Andy and I were scraping up every last dime we could for one more shot at a baby- for another fertility treatment. The cost is phenomenal and your insurance pays for nothing (not even your pre-natal pills because you are not officially pregnant. We sold EVERYTHING we could- lawn equipment, my cross trainer, any electronics we could. Trying to have a baby had become an addiction for us and we compared ourselves to someone hooked on crack- just one more time. We kept thinking that this time it would work- of we could just have one more shot. After that crazy sale of all our goods we decided that we could go on like this forever. We had become IVF addicts and we were no different than people who are hooked on a drug or gambling- we were hooked on the idea of having a baby and we were doing anything we could to get it! So as I walked by that bar in the morning before I started to judge the people who were in there I thought about us and our journey. I did not know their story so I should just keep my faults to myself (and I did). Who am I to know where they have been or what they face in their lives or the reason they might be sitting at that stool. Yes, infertility changes you in so many ways. I will constantly reflect on this painfully journey and it still hurts. But before I go to sleep tonight I will look at the two innocent and beautiful children sleeping and smile knowing they were chosen especially for us and understanding the reason my infertility!